Pitchin' Aint Easy

Up early today. Either this means I'll get something done or I'll just have more time to test my dedication to procrastination. Decided to walk to the Black Dog Coffee for a breakfast burrito. I took my book and went out the door. Was headed North on Burnside and as I approached Wilshire I noticed the black scrawny naked legs of a homeless person ahead. He, or quite possibly she, hovered as if leaning over a warm campfire -- but uniquely with their pants resting at the ankles. The bulging whites of his eyes surveyed the passing cars. In one of his free hands he held a crumpled page of newspaper -- I later hoped that it was the funnies section. It then hit me that I was not all unfamiliar with the stance that this person had assumed. This gentleman was about to drop a homeless burrito right in the middle of the sidewalk on Wilshire Blvd. Not unlike the glazed-over face of a dog scanning the yard contemplating what he'll do after he finishes this minor inconvenience, this man calmly scanned the scene. For what, I wondered. Is anyone noticing? Check! - you are on Wilshire Blvd during morning rush hour. At least eight slick haired guys just yakked up their morning venti latte on their Mercedes' dash. Or maybe he was thinking what most do in the comforts of their own home. What a great way to start my day - a solid crap along with the morning paper. I decided to continue my walk on the opposite side of the street, not so much because I was disgusted but more so that I didn't want to be rude and invade his space - a man deserves some privacy. I got to the coffee shop, ordered my burrito, finished my book, then headed back out. This time I decided to walk the homeless side of the street. I passed the now sleeping homeless person and his collection of homeless paraphernalia. Some of the homeless in Los Angeles have got it down so well that they seem more like urban campers, but this was not the case here. He wasn't nestled in a doorway or alcove but rather sprawled out flat on the sidewalk not more than 5 feet from the now newspaper covered excrement. I admired the makeshift decency but it still wasn't a pretty sight - who is going to pick that up? I walk by here every day and I sometimes accidentally touch the bottoms of my shoes! But I couldn't stick around to feel sorry, the coffee had made it's run through my system and I had to get home to take a crap. By the time I got back to the apartment it was still fairly early. Not even 9-am yet and I've already seen a guy shit on a sidewalk! This bodes well!

Lately my chronic procrastinating has been pushing me to the verge of insanity. It's like a battle between my present self and the self that I dream about. Every second that I sit on my ass doing nothing I see that dream-self looking at me with sorry disgust. I don't know how much more of your bullshit I can stick around for. So what separates me from any guy shitting on the sidewalk? I'm no better and he certainly has more courage. On a good day I'll have the balls to keep my windows down with my music up while next to somebody at a stoplight - because you know, whatever, fuck it. But this guy--now this guy's got spunk. We're the same in that we both do nothing all day and we both share a strong affinity for nap-time, only I have a safety net of parents with money (though their patience has run thin) which allows me to shelter myself in a penthouse apartment filled with cool gadgets like a computer, a coffee maker, an iPhone, and a toilet. There are a million sad story scenarios as to why this guy ended up where he did. Maybe he just wasn't as lucky, or picked up a drug habit, or suffers from some illness that he couldn't support, or maybe had a penthouse apartment in his 20's and just kept on procrastinating to insanity. Maybe we're all just a few good tweaks from unapologetically pitchin one in public.

They say that we attract all of our experiences, so what good is this one? Well here I am, actually doing some damn writing, and all before 10-am. Little did this guy know, or give a damn, he just set my day straight. And not to get all grandiose, but what if this was the start?